Lovely Things by Brennan Hoskins
Where to start? Share the heart.
After all, the cardiac muse has long ensnared
Greater bards than Brennan Hoskins.
Who am I to refuse the commonly known wisdom
Of lovers, sung through truly glorious ages,
To sing of the lovely things I do?
Or to ignore the uncommon murmur of my heart
Heard by nurses when I was a baby?
Surrounded by a crowd of people
I loved the attention.
Doctors flooded in to witness the infant
Brennan, with a soft murmur in his blood-pumper
And a little hole in it, too.
Medically, societally, we can hopefully agree
The human heart carries no inherent sentimentality
Or mentality at all, for that is domain
Of the brain in exclusivity.
And yet,
my tired mind wanders away
From cardiovascular reason
In darker seasons, I wonder
If I had never heard the small voice
Of my heart
Or had been born with a whole heart
From the start
Would love might have come more easily
And healthily?
If the hole were leaking jealousy into my bloodstream,
If the murmur were speaking envy like the serpent did
To Adam and Eve,
Then I could be forgiven
For crimes of passion
For lacking compassion
For anxious inaction,
I could be forgiven
For my cold hands gripping warmth
Like a vampire
And my ire would be understandable
Because of my condition.
“His pre-broken heart means
The jealousy, anger, and envy
Plus possessiveness you never see,
Aggressiveness toward all of those around you,
Hate for all those around you,
Burdening you with his silence
When you’re burning him by living life,
Actually portray his bravery
In surviving this clear disadvantage.”
But despite societal sentimentality
The heart belies zero mentality
And therefore absolves me no immorality,
And therefore resolves me the icy reality
Of hatred in isolated normality,
Because the hole in my heart
Drips no poison into my lonely, wandering eyes,
Nor to my lowly, wondering mind,
Which the small murmur mutters no envy to.
It pumps no bile to my vitals either,
So I have not one excuse
For all the lovely things I do.
Brennan Hoskins is a high school senior from Harrison County, Kentucky, who fell in love with Eastern Kentucky over the last two summers at the Hindman Settlement School. He plans to continue developing his writing ability in college.